Do you question whether you're cut out for parenthood or not? Even if you've read all the recommended books and watched several videos, nothing can truly prepare you for the capricious whims of a grumpy toddler or the prospect of watching Frozen II for the fourteenth time this week.
As parents, we all labor under the irrational belief that everything will go according to plan and there will be no hiccups along the way. But for all you prospective mommas and papas out there, here’s a glimpse into what life will be like if you decide to start a family. But beware—this glimpse into the future might put you off your baby-making ambitions. Enjoy!
Cruel Recommendations
When it comes to kids, one thing you can count on is that they will always tell the truth, no matter how harsh. They’re rarely concerned with your emotions and can lay it out plainly any time, any place. So it's only fitting that they make important announcements—that are already difficult—even more brutal.
Even her mom hopes she becomes a doctor so that she can scare her patients healthy with her, shall we say, “creative” mind. Obviously, this six-year-old managed to make delivering bad news even more painful. That’s some talent.
Defacement! Vandalism!
There are times when all imaginative children need a blank canvas to draw on. Nearly anything—including the walls or even their parents' sleeping faces—can be used. It may be tempting to take a nap while your children are having fun, but this could lead to a serious defacement for you to clean up later.
Even though it may look like your children are sweet and naive, they may actually be little sociopaths who will, without thinking, act on their artistic or destructive tendencies, then place the blame for their misdeeds on the innocent family dog.
The Zoom Showers
Can you even fathom the embarrassment that this must have caused? While Brian was in the shower, he thought he would be able to enjoy some peace and quiet. However, his six-year-old daughter walked in with the laptop while the camera was getting everything.
When it comes to embarrassing your parents, this is on another level from simply throwing a tantrum in the local supermarket. We can almost guarantee that this resulted in an extremely uncomfortable parent-teacher meeting, to say the least.
Alien Horrors From Beyond
If there's one thing that we've picked up from our observations of children, it's that peace and quiet are rare occurrences. This particular family decided to spend their weekend away at an Airbnb to get some much-needed rest—however, they were unaware that the bathroom doors were made of transparent glass.
This made their toddler's habit of following them around even more unsettling than it already was. Even going to the bathroom alone turned out to be a horrifying experience. This would be very funny if it weren’t prime nightmare-fuel material.
Enjoying White-Knuckle Rides
Ketchup is a favorite among children, as we can all attest to having enjoyed it when we were little ones ourselves! But unfortunately, parents everywhere continue to discover the high cost this little red bottle can have on the grocery bill, just to keep the little ones happy.
Imagine your child discovering that their all-time favorite condiment contains their most dreaded ingredient—celery. What did you think would happen? Yasmin referred to it as a "rollercoaster ride." That sounds like an internal conflict of epic proportions.
All Your Nice Things, Flushed Down The Toilet
At first glance, it was difficult for us to figure out what we were looking at—until we realized that we were looking at the underside of a toilet seat. That’s right—this picture was taken by a phone. Of course, this kid’s parents were baffled, too. How could this have happened?
However, the three children in this household maintained their innocence when questioned, and none of them broke down under pressure. As a result, their parents had to comb through the evidence to identify the perpetrator. Thanks to the photos, they did just that. Unfortunately, for parents everywhere, this is just another typical day.
Dealing With Bad Hair Days
Getting chewing gum or a tangled hairbrush stuck in your hair happens to the best of us. Getting rid of either of those presents some challenges, but it is doable. However, getting a whole box of "Bunchems" stuck in your hair seems like a lost cause.
Her brother decided it was a good idea to see how her hair would look at 100% Bunchem capacity. After 20 hours of meticulous picking, their mother finally got them all out! We'd have shaved it all off by now if that was our kid.
Free Entertainment
Before you have children of your own, one of the most irritating things to happen to you is people giving you advice about what you should do before your life is irreversibly altered. Things like "sleep in" and "eat out as much as possible."
The advice that irritates us the most is "go to the theater for entertainment before you have kids." In reality, having kids presents you with so many bizarre and funny situations that will have you laughing more than you would ever do at a show. You’ll have enough entertainment to last you a lifetime.
Backhanded Compliments
He couldn't understand why the other parents in his son's class were giving him side eyes and smirking glances at parent-teacher nights, but it all made sense after taking a tour of his kid’s classroom. He came across this picture while looking for year-end photos on his classroom wall.
It is undoubtedly an adorable picture: a photo of father and his son smiling together while the dad holds a mug with the words "Best Farter Ever." However, it would be a shame if this image were made public—as it was for all the class to see in this instance.
Going on a Family Vacation
If you ever need a reminder that is accurate—to the minute—of what you are doing or where you are going, all you need to do is bring along some kids. They will be sure to remind you of what is happening at every moment, regardless of its relevance.
From what we understand about this tweet, kids are like alarm clocks that don’t have a snooze button. It doesn't matter if you want it or not—it keeps beeping. So don't be surprised if your children scream and demand attention from time to time in a confined space. Just try to enjoy your trip.
Risk VS Reward
When you have children, you will always be concerned about their well-being. It never ends; even when they are old enough to drive themselves, you’ll worry just as much (if not more) for their safety—and everyone else who might be on the road.
There are several advantages, of course. For example, when they are old enough and have their driver's license, they will be able to drive themselves around and get you your favorite order from McDonald's. Now you can be proud and reap a material reward for your years of ceaseless effort!
Having Children Has Its Advantages
Is there anything you would do if you weren't weighed down by your progeny? You would probably deal with all those minor inconveniences life on its own piles up before you. However, if you have children, you might be able to enlist their help—at least in avoiding difficult phone calls.
The wonders of being a parent! Having children is clearly a net advantage, as this text demonstrates. Now that you've put in the time and effort, you can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Or at least you can make up an excuse as to why you need to pull your ear away from someone who’s chewing it off on the phone.
Working From The Comfort of Home
If you are not used to working from home regularly, it is entirely understandable that you might have difficulty adjusting to your new office environment. However, when you add your children to the equation, you’re practically guaranteed to have an endless stream of interruptions.
In this situation, it is essential to establish some ground rules for the household or to hang a sign to indicate when dad is away at a meeting—not that this will do anything. Just remember to compile a list of responses to any questions that could arise, and hope your kid is old enough to read!
High Cuisine Critique
As a reminder, being a parent means you'll have to deal with the cruelest of critics. Expect to have your cooking critiqued by amateurs of the lowest sort after putting in any amount of time and effort. Only professional chefs will be able to take this kind of whacking—and even then, it will still burn.
It’s not all bad—you should know those same critics don't mind eating insects or chewed-up gum they find on the road. So when they refuse to eat their vegetables and press you for some chicken nuggets, understand that their tastes aren’t necessarily an indication of your lack of cooking skills.
The Sweet Goodbyes
This father had been working from home for the previous nine months, and he was finally asked to come back into the office. In preparation, he trimmed his beard, cut his hair, and put on a suit and tie. However, his daughter disapproved of his appearance and immediately started crying.
The fact that he only appears slightly alarmed is likely because he knows that he will be out the door in seconds—leaving this terrible mess of snot and tears behind him for his partner to clean up. We’re sure he’ll miss his daughter while he's out of the house.
The Great Conversations
It’s good to stay connected. Sometimes you want nothing more than to have a decent chat with your kid, or at the very least, to exchange a few small words with them between work, life stuff, and other essential errands.
If you're like most parents, there is only a tiny portion of your time set aside for pleasant conversations with your children during convenient times—or at least convenient for you. It seems like kids just want to chat at the worst possible times.
Experiencing Winnie The Pooh All Over Again
The straightforward response to this question would be “the Hundred Acre Woods”; however, Zack here clearly misunderstood his son’s question and, as a result, provided an overly extensive explanation of the digestive system.
Zack is completely to blame here for making an assumption about what his son was asking. That being said, having children does cause you to leap to erratic conclusions, leading you to question your own intelligence and/or sanity.
That Fresh Baby Smell
Oh, waking up to that sharp and acrid smell first thing in the morning—what’s not to love? The best part? You will have to thoroughly sanitize and disinfect the spot to get rid of the lingering stink. It’s a nice way to start the day.
There’s probably nothing worse than having this odor permeate your entire house. It might take more than a little wipe to cleanse this one. However, for parents, this is just another happy little morning surprise.
Living According To The Evidence
When it comes to getting what they want, children are known for their impeccable reasoning abilities. They are well-versed in the art of rationalizing their actions by pointing to undeniable evidence that might cause you to question your own sanity.
Who would have thought that arguing with a child of that age could be so insightful and, at the same time, so mind-numbing? According to scientific consensus, you should probably just hand over the scooping spoon.
Running Out Of Imaginary Food
When you have children, you gain access to their boundless imaginations, which is one of the most rewarding aspects of parenthood. However, sometimes, a child’s imagination just seems so constrained. Here’s a great example of this.
Participating in their make-believe game can be challenging—you have to act as if their made-up world is real, but at the same time, you have to determine where the boundary of their imagination starts and where it stops. As a parent, this sort of madness becomes second nature.
Dealing With Bumps And Bruises
It’s not unusual for a new parent to go through a period of adjustment after having kids. They may become obsessively protective and alarmed at the faintest of scratches on their precious progeny’s body. However, kids quickly turn this around as they age.
It’s clear that this teacher isn’t new to parenting. They realized that kids aren’t as fragile as they may seem, as much as they may try to convince us with their tears. We’re sure this kid just dusted herself off and carried on playing whatever game led her to bump the wall in the first place.
Finding Adorable Pictures
One afternoon, this five-year-old boy stole his mother’s wallet and ran off to his room to play. A few days later, while driving, she was asked to pull over. This was the only form of identification she was able to provide!
It must have been challenging to explain this to the police officer on duty: "um... Sir, I'm sorry, but it appears that my kid has stolen my ID and replaced it with a Pokemon card." That’s an appropriate excuse—right, officer?
Finding New Pets
Kids love to find new critters to love and call their own, but not all of them are cute. Chris Wilson was caught off guard after slugs swarmed his yard. Apparently, his daughter had set up a little hospital to care for them. It’s equal parts adorable and horrifying to behold.
In his position, we would have explained that the slugs had recovered and were free to return to their families. But when you find yourself in a situation like this, it can be challenging to think on your feet, and you may feel overwhelmed by the erratic whims of your children.
Getting New School Photos
It’s always nice to get pictures of your son in action at school. It's lovely to see how hard he works and how much fun he has at recess. But, in some cases, you’ll get a picture like this that makes you question which side of the family he takes after more.
Of course, you were probably hoping for something more encouraging than this, whatever it is. But here's the thing: experience those fleeting moments of parental bliss while you can—they’ll be wearing much worse when they get a little older.
Getting A Good Night’s Sleep
There are many small pleasures in life that you don't have to sacrifice just because you have kids—getting eight hours of sleep a night is one of those things. However, in order to get good sleep, you might have to go to some extreme measures.
As a result of having children, your sleeping schedule will likely no longer fit neatly into an eight-hour window. Instead, you can expect to spread your sleeping hours out over a long period. Just be prepared to be interrupted frequently.
Dressing Up For Trick Or Treat
In the event of being awakened by this in the middle of the night, you would either be terrified or proud—or a combination of both. Even though we may find it funny, being woken up at six o'clock in the morning by a painted pumpkin head is anything but amusing.
The next time you wake up peacefully and soundly in your bed after a good night's sleep, take a moment to be grateful—consider how fortunate you are that you aren’t terrorized by nightmarish creatures walking around in your kids’ bodies.
Making Food Together
There are bound to be times when you and your partner find yourself in a conversation like this. It might be enough to make you want to return them to the sender and reclaim your adult life. Unfortunately, there are no refund policies when it comes to having kids.
Once you've got them, there are no refunds or concessions; they're yours to keep forever. So let them cry because they can't get into the oven with the lonely cornbread. This is your life now, and you'll have to accept it.
Playing House
It’s good to give your children independence—however, leaving your children to their own devices can be a slippery slope. Although children should be encouraged to explore and find ways to occupy themselves, they may also cause damage to your home if left unsupervised.
Fortunately, in this instance, only minor infractions were committed, which resulted in these plants suffering only minor injuries on their leaves. Of course, it could have been a lot worse. At least the house is still standing.
Cute Little Baby Gurgles
Good parenting often means letting go of any expectations you may have had before having children. This includes going to your favorite restaurant once a week, going on a relaxing vacation, or having a photoshoot go perfectly to plan.
Everything is different now that you are traveling with your cherished angel. Even something as simple as getting a family photo can blow up—or rather throw up—in your face. It might be a good idea to bring something along to wipe up those occasional messes. Just remember—good parenting is planned parenting.
Watching Your Children Surpass You
Despite the fact that we discourage eating in front of the television, movie theater concession stalls are still very much in business. Shoveling food in your face while numbing yourself on entertainment is just so comforting. This is something that kids pick up on early.
His mother got tough on him and enforced a rule forbidding food in the living room—but kids are more intelligent than we give them credit for. If they are motivated enough, your kids can achieve pretty much anything—with or without your consent.
Picking Up After Them
When you decide to start a family of your own, you are entering into a binding agreement that requires you to clean up after someone else's food mess for the next 18 years at least. This is the commitment you make when you decide to start a family of your own.
This mess can be caused by anything from Lego pieces to dirty laundry, but our all-time “favorites” are crumbs from crackers and other easily crumbled foods. It’s a crummy situation, but that’s just the price parents have to make.
Little Pieces Of Joy
With children, even the most straightforward of activities, like taking a family vacation, can become an ordeal. Feel free to forget about the errands and obligations you had at home—you'll have plenty of new ones to deal with while on vacation.
There is a lot of heart-warming natural beauty to be missed out there while occupied with your nearest and dearest family members. Simon here shared his favorite vacation memory: cleaning up a whole packet of Frosted Flakes from the floor.
Spending Quality Time With The Kids
Being a parent means never having any privacy, and when we say "never," we mean that literally. This is one of the most frustrating parts of being a parent. But hey, deciding to have kids is entirely up to you—depending on the state you happen to live in.
Here’s the worst part: once your children have reached adulthood and moved out of the house, you will miss them so much and might even suffer from “empty-nest syndrome.” The rewards of parenting just keep giving!
Getting The Perfect Family Snaps
This kid thought it would be funny to sniff his mother's behind while they were getting pictures, and the photographer happened to capture the moment, resulting in a very awkward and strange-looking expression. Who could blame her? Children are very strange animals.
If this is a sign of what's to come, we can confidently say that he's going to be quite the handful. Hopefully, he’ll grow out of it naturally—otherwise, his mom will just need to take him for walks twice a day around the dog park to wean it out of him.
Finding Those Amazing Artistic Accomplishments
When you enjoy painting this much, you may find that all available surfaces simply constrain your artistic vision. In that case, what options do you have other than using the world as your canvas? Paint the walls, just like Da Vinci did! Follow in the footsteps of a great master!
These parents deserve praise for allowing their child to use their walls as a canvas for painting—it’s well-known that painters are highly particular about the materials and tools they employ in the course of their work and journey.
Watching Fireworks Together
There are a few things that cameras and mics can’t capture from a live fireworks event, like the loud crackle or glorious explosions of light—or if you happen to be there with your pyrophilic son—that imminent sense of impending doom.
The only thing that would make up for this terrifying moment is the palpable enthusiasm that comes with having children and being a parent. However, we feel that some parents should go on a safety course to at least help them teach their children not to light explosives up close—or so eagerly.
Getting A Sense Of Comfort And Security
What’s more terrifying than a zombie movie? We can think of little else than whatever it is that goes on behind closed doors in the lives of a young child. Presenting exhibit A—some kind of wild frontier of chaos from beyond the veil.
There is nothing that satisfies the appetite quite like a good old-fashioned manic scene, and this vibrant alphabet splashed up against a goring of voracious scribbles just hits the horror spot just right. We wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend whatever this is!
Watching Them Mature
Becoming an adult for a child of her age must have been burdensome. Responsibilities such as completing your taxes and cleaning up after yourself must weigh down on the little two-year-old. That being said, it’s true—being able to touch knives is adulthood’s greatest pleasure.
We have no right to interfere with her preconceived notions of what it means to be an adult, as this is none of our business, and we don’t want to break her little heart so young. Maybe she aspires to be a professional knife-throwing when she grows up?
Tucking Them Into Bed At Night
How can you tell that it’s eight o'clock at night in a house with kids? By searching the corridors, rooms, or floor. Hint: it’s when children seem to be at their most active, most energetic, and most chaotic. Like werewolves, children transform at the sight of the moon.
There are diapers all around; there’s an upside-down chair there and a tennis racquet under green packets of something. This location resembles a crime scene or the aftermath of an accident. That’s how you know it’s almost bedtime.
Having A Tiny Helper Around
In spite of all appearances, this man's little assistant is as helpful as you might expect he would be. This father’s music doesn’t seem to have improved thanks to his son’s help unless he can play well enough with his foot and toes.
Still, they say that necessity is the mother of invention. Maybe someday, this kid will be able to play the guitar with two hands behind his back—just like his father has to do while looking after the little handful.