There’s something extra special about texting that you just can’t get through a regular conversation. The fact that it requires short messages and relies on acronyms and gifs can help to bring out the inner comedian in us all. Sometimes that comedian is witty, other times it’s dark or unintentionally funny.
We’ve scrolled through internet forums and social media sites to find some examples of these hilarious texts. Some were the result of a wrong number, others were sent among friends and family. They range from dating advice to embarrassing stories to misspelled words. What these 39 texts have in common, however, is that they had us laughing hard.
Trying to Impress the Ladies
The first two words – “weird question” – and the last two words – “absolutely not” – tell us all we need to know about the following text. The potential date below tried to show that they were family-oriented and responsible. The skeptical mom, however, saw right through it.
This attempt at impressing a girl who has a kid clearly didn’t work out too well. Mom’s “creep radar” was on high – and justifiably so! There are just too many risks in allowing strangers to borrow your kids.
How Much Do You Love Me?
Have you ever sent a text to your partner only to get some (funny) hate in return? If so, then you’re aware that it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes the timing is just right, but other times it sounds too harsh.
Oomph! That one had to hurt. Although it might sound harsh at first, it’s also a good sign that their relationship is full of humor. We’re sure they use plenty of jokes and wordplay to show affection. We suggest re-reading the first half of the text at nighttime.
Not What We Expected
Most parents have to bargain with their kids to go to bed. One more book, then bed; or, one more cartoon, then bed; or, one more episode of the most epic, violent, and sexual TV show of the last decade, then bed. Wait, what?
Lauren Reeves thinks that’s a bad idea, but not for the reasons you might assume. It’s not all the gore and nudity that’s a problem, it’s the fact that her nephew would miss all the plot twists set down in season one!
Between a Rock and a Dwayne Johnson
If you’re a fan of professional wrestling and Hollywood movies, then you might have noticed some overlap. There are quite a few successful wrestler-turned-actors – for example, John Cena, Dave Bautista, and Dwayne Johnson. Some keep their wrestling names, but others discard them. Dwayne Johnson discarded his.
This led Becky to be a bit confused. When she asked her friend to clear it up, her friend ended up trolling her! We just hope that Becky does some internet research to fact-check her trolling friend.
The Unhelpful Neighbor
Getting your heart broken is never easy, and many people have to let out yells and tears before the healing can begin. That’s fine, but if you live in a place with paper-thin walls, then you might end up annoying your neighbors and getting a text.
A text that’s unsympathetic to your heartbreak. Although Ryan’s text was pretty harsh, we do see how three hours of incessant crying might get on his nerves. Should the one with the broken heart cry into a pillow next time, or should Ryan throw on some earplugs?
The Lord of Walmart
Tristan knows how to party … in Walmart – which, to be honest, is a bit unusual. Walmart is for shopping, not partying. However, Tristan decided to bring the party vibe to the massive store in a way that has us laughing out loud.
What were the other shoppers and employees thinking? It's either get in on the joke or give Tristan his space. By the way, kudos to Tristan for not getting ashamed by looking foolish in public. Instead, Tristan took it lightly – awesome indeed.
The Triple Dots of Death
When someone is in the middle of a burst of texts, the last thing you want to do is answer them prematurely. It’s best to hold on, wait for all the messages to come through, and then scroll back to answer. The person below, however, did none of that.
Instead, they acted like the quintessential troll and kept the triple dots of death going – all for a nonsensical reply that would contribute nothing to the conversation! Well, that’s not entirely true. It did contribute a bit of humor.
Naming a Newborn
Coming up with a baby name can be difficult – hence all the apps, books, and websites out there. Although Hollywood is known for some unusual names, regular folks want something a bit more common. Not this dad, though.
Clever Dylan caught the mistake right away and ended up trolling dad. Since we don’t have dad’s reply to Dylan, we’ll never know if the baby’s name is “Tomorrow”, if the baby will be given a name tomorrow, or if the baby will be given the name “Tomorrow”, tomorrow.
Nana (Almost) Knows Pop Culture
Popular culture changes so quickly nowadays that it’s nearly impossible for older generations to keep up with their kids and grandkids. That doesn’t stop them from trying, though.
We can tell Nana loves her grandkids and wants to connect with them by asking about their favorite bands. Nana has her heart in the right place even if her memory isn’t perfect – One Direction, not One dimention, is the name of the famous pop band. We give her an A for effort.
Burrito Time
When we first met Ryan Neighbor, he left a harsh message to someone with a broken heart. A few days later, it turns out he sent another message. Is it meant to lend a helping hand and comfort a broken heart?
No. It’s meant to ask for 20 bucks to get a burrito. It looks like Ryan needs to work on his timing and his ability to read social cues. Either that or he has a dark sense of humor that’s an acquired taste. Either way, a cooking class might help.
Setting Boundaries
Sometimes words can’t express all the feelings we want to get across – so we turn to emojis! But just like learning the alphabet, we need to learn what emojis mean. They aren’t all straightforward. For example, the heart means love, but what kind of love?
The red is for romantic love, the blue is for friendship. The person who asked the question was aiming for a red heart. Unfortunately for them, they received a blue heart – they’re squarely in the friend zone.
Time for Dr. Google
Google has changed the game when it comes to medical information. Nowadays, whenever people get a cut, scratch, or scrape, they look it up online and, most likely, find a detailed article that describes symptoms, causes, and treatments. Based on the message below, Hannah knows about the power of Google.
With the help of the internet, she managed to pinpoint the problem in a few minutes flat – faster than the trained medical experts! Sounds like Hannah has a budding career in medicine.
Kev’s Special Menu
A lot of English words sound nothing like how they’re spelled, and this confuses native and non-native speakers alike. Kev, from the text below, wanted to know if the restaurant he was going to sold individual items as well as set meals. So, he asked his friend… almost.
Either Kev never saw the phrase written down, or he wants a religious menu. We assume it’s the first one. Next time, we suggest Kev calls up his restaurant bud to have a spoken conversation.
Learning to Follow Directions
Checkers the cat can withstand the threat of other (much larger) wild animals – at least that’s what Checkers’ owner thinks. When a concerned neighbor tried to warn the owner about some of the dangers that Checkers faced, the owner seemed unconcerned.T
The neighbor was taken aback. Instead of getting a “thanks for letting me know”, the neighbor got a “don’t bother me again.” Yikes! Hopefully, Checkers is as hardy as the owner seems to think, or hopefully Checkers is on friendly terms with the coyotes.
Trying to Bite Your Own Nose
When you’re a bit tipsy, you slur your speech. When you’re far beyond that, you try to bite off your own nose. We don’t recommend it. Regardless, the two friends below tried to give it a whirl.
Luckily no nose was bitten off because, well, it got away. This text reminds us of the Lord of Walmart post that saw Tristan praising the intercom, albeit there was a bit more baiting going on here. Although the attempted nose-biter seems a bit annoyed, it’s all in good fun.
Aunt Barbara’s Bad Energy
Alongside all the delicious food at Thanksgiving comes the not-so-delicious family drama. The daughter below posted a text from mom telling everyone that Aunt Barbara was uninvited because mom couldn’t handle her bad energy – good vibes only!
In all honesty, though, vibe checks are crucial to having a smoothly run Thanksgiving meal. If there’s going to be a family drama, it’s best to save it for a smaller meal that doesn’t take all day to prepare. We just hope that Aunt Barbara isn’t on Twitter – awkward.
Sneezing Etiquette
Saying “bless you” to someone who sneezes is a common form of etiquette. A sneezer needs a blessing or else … well, we don’t know exactly what happens, but we do know that it’s good manners. That’s why this hurt boyfriend texted his girlfriend when she forgot to say the magic words.
That being said, we do think that the first Google results are a tad too dramatic. Although the boyfriend might have been dead serious in texting her that, we hope his feelings weren’t hurt too much.
Missy Missed the Sleepover
Sometimes a group of friends has one friend who is a little difficult to be around. They are fine in small doses but not for hours on end. It might sound mean, but for many of us, it’s true.
That seems to be the case for Alexa’s sleepover above – she invited most (not all) of her friends. Perhaps Missy would bring the vibe down or cause tension with someone else. If that’s the case, we suggest bringing it up with Missy at some point.
Trying to Sleep
Have you ever suffered from sleep problems? If so, you know it can be difficult to overcome them. There’s nothing worse than lying awake wanting to get to sleep but being unable to. Wait a minute, there is something worse – dragging other people along!
That’s what the insomniac above tried to do with a confused (and tired) friend who was clearly trying to catch some z’s. Just because someone else can’t sleep, doesn’t mean this friend is going to power through it with them. Time for bed.
Food Crush
Most of the time when we see a friend or family member’s face light up when texting, it means that a romance is brewing. However, that’s not the only reason people get excited when texting.As you can see from above, they also get excited over food!
A mouth-watering bowl of peanut butter can get us just as happy and excited as a new romance. So, contrary to mom’s suspicions, her daughter wasn’t chatting away with a boy – she was smiling away at some delicious food.
Life Goals
Sometimes television is far more than something to help you unwind – it’s a lifestyle, an identity, a reason for living even. If you’ve seen Parks and Recreation, then you’ll understand. The person below surely knows what we’re talking about.
“I mean with ur life” usually means big life goals, but this person isn’t dissuaded by that – watching Parks and Recreation is a big life goal! Considering there are dozens of characters and seven hilarious seasons, we fully agree.
Heating Up
Texts can get a bit spicy when you’re sending messages back and forth with a significant other. One of the partners below was hoping for that, but that hope didn’t pan out too well. Their request for “something ….hot” was taken a bit too literally.
Chilli peppers and an on-fire letter U are definitely hot – they’re also definitely not what this partner wanted. Perhaps it’s best to cut your losses, laugh a bit, and try it again in person.
In Hot Water
If you’ve rented a few places, then you know that not all landlords are made equal. Some are quick to stop by and fix a leaky pipe or broken wifi. Others take their time. This new tenant let the landlord know about a problem with the hot water – it wasn’t working.
The message is unintentionally funny because there’s no way to really show the temperature of water through an image! Hopefully, the landlord realized that and went over to have a closer look.
Playing Your Favorite Song
Sometimes people love a song so much that it’s all they want to hear. They crank up the volume, drown out the background noise, and play it over and over again until someone yells at them – or texts them. The person below went for the second option.
As you can see from above, it didn’t work out too well. Although the loud neighbor could stop the music, they decided they didn’t want to – the song was just too good!
How Farts, I Mean Kewl
A little fiddling around with autocorrect is all it took for this girl to trick her dad into typing something ridiculous. She didn’t want her dad picking up the hip lingo of “kewl”, so she substituted that out for another word.
The prank completely stumped her dad. Afterward, she posted the results to Twitter to share the laughs. Perhaps this initial event sparked a worldwide “let’s troll dad” movement – if so, then there are plenty more hilarious texts to come!
Condolences for the Car
When you hear the phrase “my condolences”, you probably think of tragedy – a bad accident or a death in the family. Although the person below didn’t use it for something that dramatic, they did use it to deliver some bad news.
Yikes! It looks like Chloe told the neighbor far too many times to park in the right spot, so Chloe decided to carry through with her threat. We understand, even if it’s a bit dramatic. We just hope the neighbor learned a valuable lesson.
Texting Your Ex (Almost)
Breaking up is one thing, keeping an ex out of your mind is quite another. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to them not being there. Mix some drinks in with the sadness and it can make for emotional outbursts.
The girl above wanted to let her ex know just how much she hated spicy curry noodles, so she blasted off a message at the reasonable time of 4:30 am. A few hours later, she got a message back – from her mom. Whoops, wrong person!
Catdog Texts
We assumed only humans mastered the ability to text, but based on the picture below, it seems like dogs have got it down as well. Sometimes when they send out messages to complete strangers, it can lead to a case of mistaken identity.
Whoever received these texts was confused by the animal pictures. They thought this little cute dog was, in fact, a cat! Woah – looks like this person either needs some glasses or to enroll in an Animals 101 class.
Hallway Conversations
There are two kinds of people: those who love small talk, and those who don’t. Melissa is clearly in the second category. A friendly nod in the hallway is the perfect amount of human interaction for her after a long day of work.
This, unfortunately, put Melissa’s neighbor in an awkward position. Although the neighbor agreed to cut out the small talk and stick to a simple nod, they let Melissa know that they would add another gesture alongside it.
Trying to Reserve the Pool
Apparently, one resident thought they owned the pool, so they sent off a quick text to another neighbor to avoid the pool on the 4th of July. That didn’t work out too well – the offended neighbor got so annoyed that he decided to do just the opposite.
He decided to throw a party! Whoops. If the original resident didn’t send off the original text, this could have been avoided, but now it sounds like there’s going to be a wild pool party filled with bikers.
The Cat Clause
Some landlords are okay with pets, others aren’t. It’s not that landlords personally dislike pets, it’s that pets can be messy, noisy, and (sometimes) destructive. It’s simply harder to find a new home when you’re bringing a furry friend along, so this renter decided to hide it.
Bruce the Landlord, however, found out and let the renter know the rules. When the new renter sent along an adorable (and slightly photoshopped) picture of a smiling cat, Bruce decided to let it slide. Hopefully, the polite little furball stays well-behaved.
Free Pancakes
The mom below had her “cheap guy” radar on the moment she got a suspicious text about going to IHOP for free pancake day. She was already happily married with five kids – no time for cheapskates who only go out when it’s free!
Wait, what? Turns out it wasn’t a budding Don Juan trying to sneak in for an undercover pancake date. Instead, it was her daughter Gracie. Sounds like mom has an active imagination, and it also sounds like mom forgot to save her daughter’s number.
Rude or Funny?
When someone asks if you’re seriously doing something, they want to imply that they’re angry or baffled by it. The person below, caught vacuuming at 1:40 am, was asked a similar question – are you seriously vacuuming at 1:40 am? – but decided to answer it a bit more literally.
We appreciate the neighbor’s sense of humor and ability to have fun while vacuuming, but we also think it’s a bit late to be doing something like that. What do you think, funny or rude?
Acronym Troubles
Memorizing all those molecular names and formulas for Chemistry class can be tough, so when her kid got an A in the class, Mom was understandably excited. She sent off a congratulatory text using the latest hip acronym – before learning what the acronym actually meant.
How cute! This mom thought the swearing acronym meant something far more wholesome than it actually does. Since no one has corrected her yet, there’s bound to be some hilarious texts in the future.
Wrestler Cats
When it comes to pets, dogs are known as loyal protectors who are ready to keep their owners out of danger. Cats, on the other hand, are usually too busy napping the day away. However, with the right kind of training and motivation, they’re bound to learn! What does that kind of training look like?
According to K’s boyfriend, it looks like watching a lot of professional wrestling. Although we are skeptical of this approach, we wish them the best and hope their cats learn to master the Piledriver.
Texting Troubles
A lot of young people assume that texting has been around forever; a lot of older people know that’s untrue. Older people remember when smartphones first came out, and they remember the learning curve involved in using one. Some mastered it easily, others took a bit longer. The mom below took a bit longer.
How would you answer the last question? If mom and her kid were in the same room, we suggest the kid go over to mom to show her that the texts went through.
Digital Message in a Bottle
Most people carry their smartphones with them everywhere and are terrified when they forget them. The dad below figured that his child would be lost (or bored) without a phone, so he sent off a text.
Maybe not the best approach considering that people can only receive texts on their phone when they actually have their phone. At least dad’s heart was in the right place. We suggest a loud yell out the front door or a quiet wait at home until the child figures out what they forgot.
Mom’s Tough Love Approach
Some moms discipline their kids through positive reinforcement. Other moms go for the “tough love” approach – aka giving your kids a hard time. The mom below is clearly in that camp. When her child decided to stay in for the night, mom tried to push them toward being more sociable.
We don’t know how well this tough love method worked, but we’re hoping for the best. In the meantime, it sounds like mom is going to continue to nudge her kids towards being social butterflies.
The Murderous Moth
This next post is a quality example of dad humor mixed in with a lesson on facing your fears. The kid was terrified of the moth outside the bathroom and threatened to cry. Did dad come to the rescue?
Not really. He meant to, but it sounds like the moth got to him before he could help. Now, this kid has to deal with a murderous moth who knows how to text! We suggest jumping out the window and grabbing a fly swatter before heading back into the house.