The plots in a graveyard tell the story of people's lives. It's a dark subject, but does have to be? Sometimes, the tombstones can be downright amusing! It sounds hard to believe, but it's time to look at silly samples. The best examples remind loved ones of life and laughs. And there's a bit of mischief, too!
Deceased, Yet Delicious
Everyone has one quality that the world will remember, long after they are gone. Today, a matriarch has been laid to rest. If anyone doubted it, mom's hobby in life was baking. And thanks to this idea, her Xmas cookies will live on forever and ever!
What made those memories so warm and yummy? The key seems to be sugar, vanilla, and cream. And of course, love. Lots of love, like the best treats always do!
Next: See the funniest stones out there that have the internet dying with laughter!
I Shot the Sheriff
Laying down the law even as he is laid to rest, Robert Clay Allison never killed a man that didn't need a killing. What were their crimes? Hard to say, at this point. But seeing as he lived from 1840-1887, things were a bit different anyway.
Mediation and punishment are pretty evolved now. But they say dueling was legal, in the old days. Bounty hunters were also a thing. It's hard to imagine how that all worked, but it's clear that Robert had a record of ending his foes. RIP, old boy!
The Seventh Sense
It's a frightening world out there. Director M. Night Shyamalan explained that ''fear is the unknown, fear is what you do not know, and it's genetically within us so that we feel safe. We feel scared of the woods because we're not familiar with it, and that keeps you safe.'' Perhaps that's the thinking that led him to make The Sixth Sense. 'Twas spooky!
One gravestone has a pretty good spoof movie idea. "I see dumb people''? He was probably more familiar with them than the woods. If that's the case, this fellow finally has some rest from that terror. He is suffering fools, no more!
Highbrow in Heaven
Blue-collar workers they are not: Writers often have a reputation for snobbery. Is it a fair stereotype? Sometimes it is! In this case, the legacy of a fellow named Billy is on display. With a bit of tongue and cheek, he endorses his critics from the beyond. Silly Billy!
Poking fun at the way his profession is perceived seems like a good way to go. But with this commitment to his craft, it sounds like he is going to miss it. There is only one solution: Does anyone need a ghostwriter?
Dead, Not Bread
It's crunchy, it's fluffy, and sometimes sour — since around 8000 BC, bread has been a real staple. But not all bread is made equally. Carb heaven requires a certain balance of ingredients. There's the flour, the salt, and of course, the yeast. Without the last element, it's just a cracker!
This man knows the recipes all too well. In fact, John Yeast probably had to suffer through bread jokes all his life. In death, he decided to have fun with puns! Pardon him for not rising ever again, friends.
Knocking on Her Knockers
Now here's someone who wanted to get a real weight off her chest. Janet lived a good life, but the end did come. From 1940 to 2013, she was a loyal Texas gal. And true to the lone star spirit, she has one final message for visitors. Be careful where you stand!
''If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs,'' she explained. That's pretty direct for a southern belle! It's only natural to come close to the stone. But careful! The lady has her standards, even from the grave.
Short But Sweet
All the great philosophers weighed in on the essential question. What is the meaning of life anyway? According to Plato: ''The unexamined life is not worth living. '' Religious folks say that everything has a secret purpose. These are high-minded ways to approach time on earth. But not everyone agrees. What does Edith think about it all?
Perhaps it's a little less poetic. Bad things happen, ok? There's nothing wrong with facing the facts, in life or in death. This may not go down in the history books, but it's sure to tickle visitors. Mourners will be amused at this graveyard for years to come!
Feline Forever
The war between dog and cat people rages on. Sometimes, it involves downright slander! The canine crowd claims that cats are going to eat the dead bodies of their owners, one day. It's not real love. What did Susan think about these arguments, during her life?
Her memorial says it all: ''Destined to be a woman with too many cats.'' It's clear what side of the argument she came down on, in her day! With one big kitty perched on top, no one can dispute her love. How many cats are too many, though? The haters out there say just one!
Lawrence Loved the Ladies
The story is all there, etched in granite. It's going to be a legend for generations to come. How did it all go? Well, ma loved pa, despite the fact that he loved lots of women. She caught him with two one day, while they were all swimming. Now, pa is gone. Was that part of the reason?
It's not clear from the short tale inscribed here in 2004. But hopefully, things didn't get too heated in the Cook household. Cheaters never prosper, as they say. Usually, they escape an early end!
His Closing Act
There's no business like show business, they say. Flashback time to the great Merv Griffin. His career started on radio as a singer, and he actually made it all the way to Broadway, in his day. How did audiences know him, mostly? It was The Merv Griffin Show, on air from 1965 to 1986. Sadly, he has passed on!
Merv will not be right back after this message, or ever. Entertainment is a fickle field: Youngsters probably don't know him. But just in case anyone needs a reminder, the stone hints at his fame!
Lights Out
Life beyond the grave may or may not exist. It's a heavy topic, most of the time. Writer Henry David Thoreau once said: ''When it’s time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.'' Wise words. But what did this fellow here discover, instead?
Nothing too profound, really. Lowered slowly into the ground, things probably started to get darker. And now, inside the closed coffin, it's pitch black. Damn, it's dark down here. They may not be the most poetic last words, but they do get right to the point!
The Guy Who Golfed
According to Tiger Woods: “Golf is a great way for someone to learn discipline, responsibility and sportsmanship.” It's a noble way to look at things. Truthfully, not everyone in the game is so high-minded about it. Some people are just putting around out there!
Joel H. Cheskin appears to have been in the latter category. No one knows how long he tried to get the mythical hole in one shot. But it seems he struggled for years. Now that he is literally in a hole, he is trying to claim victory. Those aren't the rules, Joel!
The Sorcerer's Stone
The Ouija board is a popular board game. Not everyone believes in its magic and mystery. But according to the manufacturer: ''You've got questions and the spirit world has answers — and the uncanny Ouija board is your way to get them...Handle the Ouija board with respect and it won't disappoint you!'' Does it have more power in a graveyard?
One person seemed to think so. Selecting it as their headstone is the ultimate vote of confidence. Visitors will have the chance to chat whenever they wish. Clever choice, occult lover!
Walter Loved Whiskey
The great Mark Twain once said: ''The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.'' In the case of Walter W. Stauffen, he knew exactly what he loved most. Whiskey and women is not a bad way to live!
The other side of that story is a little less fun, admittedly. The man loved to spend, and had no money in the end. They do the best things in life are free, though. Walter knew his tradeoffs!
Mom Was Mellow
Laidback Lola lived a long life, from 1923 all the way to 2004. A lot happened, on the way. She saw World War 2, man walking on the moon, the passing of the new millennium, and the introduction of the internet. What was her feedback about it all?
Her summary: Oh well, whatever. She didn't have the most to say, actually. It's a bit anti-climatic! But only Lola can judge Lola's life, right? Maybe miracle after miracle just got boring after a while. In the end, everyone ends up in the ground. Oh well, whatever!
J0an's Last Joke
What is a sense of humor, anyway? It seems a little bit abstract, but the dictionary has given it a shot. Merriam-Webster says it is ''a personality that gives someone the ability to say funny things and see the funny side of things''. Does Joan Hackett's tombstone qualify her?
Her last words: Go away, I'm asleep. Passerbys may wonder if she is talking about the big sleep, right here. Or maybe, she was known for this demand throughout her life. Either way, it's a chuckle in a serious place, and that's okay!
Finally, He Got Respect
The legend Rodney Dangerfield is no longer with the world. In his life, he was a stand-up comedian and produced and wrote behind the scenes in Hollywood. He even wrote a book about it all. But more than anything, he was known for his catchphrase: "I don't get no respect!"
But the truth is, he gets plenty of respect. According to Jay Leno, his comedic format was greatly influenced by the late comedian. And according to shops across the nation, his face is one of the most popular celebrity tattoos in the biz. That's a big deal, Dangerfield!
All in the Family
Ladies of all ages love to hog the bathroom. Any dad or brother will testify to it. It's irritating, but what can they do? There's shampoo and conditioning to do, shaving, waxing, primping, and preening. There's mascara and manicuring, too. Isn't that enough to justify it?
Maybe, maybe not. The arguments will probably still continue. Having a bit of fun with feisty family life, this gravestone commemorates the good times. The summary: Raised four daughters and had just one bathroom to share. Yet, there was lots of love, all around!
The Buried Businessman
Business is a tricky art. Often the fierce and cunning thrive, in a tough market. In The Art of the Deal, Donald Trump explained: ''The worst of times often create the best opportunities to make good deals.'' Here, the negotiator is actually dead. Is this a good enough time to try?
He made some good deals, and he made some bad ones. Fair enough: Even the Donald will admit to that. No one in business has a perfect record! But this move seems to be in the strikes column. This idea wasn't the best, and there are no refunds!
The Show Won't Go On
Who this, lying peacefully? It's a vintage personality with a big legacy. Mel Blanc was a voice actor and a real personality on radio. It's been a while since he's been on air, though. He has been retired from jokes of any kind since 1989!
A 60-year career has lots of lines on a resume. Mel had a big role in the animation field, beyond his radio work. He was the voice of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, some may know! But his biggest role of all is written in stone. Beloved husband and father, of course!
No Means No
It's cheeky and written forever in stone. Last words are best that way! To summarize, this rebel is not happy about how things have gone. He came here without being asked. He left on the same terms. This fellow has been laid to rest in Chattanooga, Tennesse. And he's not necessarily happy about it. But he's not protesting, at this point.
He knows there's little recourse now. Six feet underground is a long way to crawl out, without a shovel. It's time to rest in peace, sir. There's no alternative!
Dirty Little Secret
Honesty is the best policy, some say. In life, people often share their deepest feelings with lovers and friends. But here, now that this person has passed on, that is no longer possible. Whatever they know now, is a deep, dark, mystery. About six feet deep, to be precise!
Maybe heaven is really made of gumdrops and lollipops. Or perhaps, purgatory is real. There's some possibility that Hades really exists, like the Greeks claimed. Whatever the case may be, there is a real gap in knowledge between the living and the dead. Here, and everywhere else!
Believe it or Not
You're a hypochondriac, they said. Don't worry so much, they said. According to WebMD, real hypochondriacs ''are not faking or lying about their symptoms; they truly believe they are sick. Or, if they do have an actual physical illness, their level of worry and distress is out of proportion to the condition.'' But that itself might be a misdiagnosis!
It looks like the deceased faced some doubts about their complaints. But the truth is, there are all sorts of illnesses that sneak up on people. Sometimes, the paranoia is right!
Understandably Pissed
There are lots of affirmations out there for everyday challenges: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or, try to look on the bright side of life. Easier said than done, sure. But when things get really tough, other sayings are needed. No one knows what to say at a funeral, do they? The struggle is real.
Here, the deceased Mitchell solves that problem for his guests. Right on his memorial, he provides a philosophy about it all. He doesn't beat around the bush very much. This just sucks!
Wayne's Underworld
Saturday Night Live used to turn its best sketches into feature films. In the 90s, there was The Waterboy and A Night at the Roxbury. But who can forget Wayne’s World? This film took America by storm. Everyone agrees: Mike Myers and Dana Carvey made a hit!
Characters Wayne and Garth had a healthy love for the ladies. Most of the time, they worked on their local TV show about heavy metal. But when they saw a lovely lass? Schwing! Graveyards don't usually honor these things. But it looks like someone was a fan!
All Dogs Go to Heaven
Saying goodbye to loved ones is a difficult process, to say the least. There are those with faith, who say that everyone will meet again. But what about the pets that leave the world? Some say there is a special place, just for them! All dogs are good boys, after all.
Visitors might be a little confused about the memorial. Was the name of this pet Hehe? Are the owners just having a good laugh about life and death? It's pretty ambiguous, for now. But it was worth a giggle!
It Sure Does
What happens in the next stage, really? Some say there is a heaven. But no one knows exactly what that looks like! According to the Bible, ''the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass.'' That doesn't sound so bad, does it?
The afterlife remains a mystery for many. It seems this person didn't buy the story. Written forever on a slab is a simple sentiment: Sucks to be me. Maybe. But maybe not?
A Real Money Pit
According to Forbes: ''63% of Americans don't have enough savings to cover a $500 emergency.'' The stats are a bit grim, but it needs to be said! Here, Steve and Anya admit that they had these money troubles throughout their lives. But they got the last laugh!
Sometimes, bills can just be overwhelming. This couple eventually solved their problem, though. The message to creditors is as follows: In eternal bliss, Mastercard and Visa still looking for the payments they missed. It seems they may be looking for a long time to come!
This Stone Won't Roll
Hey, hey! Scott J. Silva couldn't get no satisfaction. He couldn't get no girly action, either. That's what he said! And he decided to say it forever, in a way. But is that really what he wanted the world to know, as his last wish?
Strangers could be forgiven for assuming those things. But that probably wasn't his point! One look at the Stones-themed stone and it's obvious he was a fan. One question lingers: Did he 'paint it black', or did it come that way in the catelogue?
Laughing With Lucifer
Sure, it's a morbid subject for most. But there are those who learn to make light of life's certain end. Funnyman George Carlin once quipped: ''I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.'' Is this his tombstone, or what?
No, it's not. But it is the memorial of a silly person, somewhere. Laugh out loud is not the emotion most people feel when thinking about their own end. But there are different strokes for different folks. There's no single way to say goodbye!