These 40 Fake ‘Nice’ Guys Are Sure To Finish Last

They say nice guys finish last. But do they really? We’re sure these guys will finish last in life’s race because, as it turns out, they were never all that nice. Pretending to be nice will not get you a ticket to heaven. Nor will it help you get a date.

 These guys need more than a miracle to bring their mojo back. They need to admit their faults and make changes in themselves for the better. But at the rate they’re going, not even a miracle can save their “nice” souls.

There are plenty of others like him, as you’ll soon find out…

Good Guy Turned Bad

A great example of a fake nice guy is this man with a “neckbeard.” Here he complains about how being nice hasn’t directly gained him any advantages in life. 

He has therefore decided he will not be nice anymore. Alas, the world has lost another man to the dark side—or maybe he can’t see he has been there all along. 

Cheaters Never Win

It’s never a good idea to cheat on someone. Being cheated on can be very difficult to get over. Though time heals all wounds, being able to express your feelings is often the first step to recovery. Be careful who you open up to, though—you might accidentally attract the wrong kind of listeners.

This guy's message is either a bad joke or a statement that doesn’t merit any kind of serious reaction. Fortunately, he was met with an equally surprising response—it turns out that he was talking to another guy all along. 

Making It Obvious

The idea here is that some nerds cannot accept the fact that women choose men who hold toxic beliefs about women—but are at least overt about it, and probably less boring, too. As a result, they shroud themselves in the “nice guy” disguise while peddling acid about the opposite sex.

Just remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you’re only being “nice” because you expect to be rewarded for your efforts, then you’re not being nice at all—you’re being transactional, which is not exactly a cute quality in a partner.

The Curse

There is no such thing as a genetic predisposition to having“unattractive” energy. When girls reject your vibe or your advances, maybe it’s not your energy. Maybe it is because you are mean, entitled, and not nice at all. One way to be likable is not to complain as much as this.

Another way is to not complain online. No one wants to read a list of everything you think is wrong with people and the world. The internet is not a diary of your thoughts and feelings. Being yourself is not bad unless you are bad yourself. Then you are the problem—not the people who dislike you.

Memes Will Not Take The Pain Away

We advise you to stop making memes that express how you do not like being single. Earth is huge and filled with tons of people. The least we can do for ourselves is to enjoy our own company. If you do not like being on your own, we feel you. Go and find someone who wants to be with you.

But if you find it difficult to meet a partner, do not go all passive-aggressive online. Don’t attack the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with—once it’s online, it stays there forever. The person who will read it next could be your next would-be partner, who might decide against being with you because of your not-nice attitude.

Laying It On

Makeup is a great way to make your face look positively different. Though it may not be for everybody, people should be allowed to use it in whatever way they like. It’s not going to hurt anyone. So when a stranger wearing a weird fedora gives his unsolicited two cents about makeup, it is best to take their opinion with a grain of salt.

Fortunately, his unsolicited opinion is just as good as his bedroom’s crappy lighting. We also suggest that instead of telling people about something you know zero about, it is better if you make an effort to meet real people. That is a better use of time than making crappy memes.

Weaponized Dyslexia

Calling someone “babe” even before you actually meet or have a relationship with them is inappropriate. But this guy thinks it is not wrong at all because he believes he is a nice person. It’s the catch-all excuse for doing or saying all kinds of bad stuff.

The quivering voice is also a tad creepy. Either this guy is genuinely stupid or is making a really low-quality joke. It’s the cynical weaponizing of dyslexia that gets to us the most. Weaponizing any kind of disorder disqualifies you from “good guy” status automatically.

She Did The Right Thing

Asking about birth control on the first date is too much. Asking about it before you get on a first date is more than enough reason to cancel it. This is one of the rare cases where being yourself is not sound advice, especially if you are naturally a creep, as was the case here.

Fortunately, the guy showed his true colors before she went out with him. All the red flags were evidently there even before he even said, “see you there.” While using a dating app, the words “birth control” should never come up—it’s probably something you should ask after you’ve at least made physical eye contact—at the very least. 

Micro Creeping

Online gaming is a fun and popular way to pass the time away. It is also an unconventional way to make new online friends. Unfortunately, it is also rife with people who have more than online gaming in mind. This guy comes off as nice at first. But his persona falls apart after mere minutes.

When another player expresses her marital status after being asked, the proper thing to do is to politely cut the flirting nonsense. But this guy believes he is powerful enough to woo a married person while playing an innocent game of Yahtzee. 

Tuck in, tuck out

Wasn’t it in pre-school when everyone was taught to keep their hands to themselves? This guy was probably absent from school when that precious life lesson was dispensed. Consent is a necessity in any relationship, even in situations where you assume, there is actually a relationship.

Why would you want to continually fix someone’s hair when it’s obvious by their body language that they don’t want their hair fixed? The guy obviously has control issues, yet they blame everyone else for their personality flaw. 

No Such Thing As Delayed Gratification

This guy probably failed the marshmallow test when he was a kid. He probably never knows what delayed gratification feels like, thus his reaction to a harmless message. She did the right thing when she said she had to delay their meeting.

Apparently, “later” was not part of this dude’s vocabulary, and he could not accept the fact that something was more important than him. He revealed his true colors, saving her from what could have been, at best, a horribly uncomfortable situation. It’s highly likely they never met at all—which is a very good thing.

Blind Spot

The “nice guy” term has lost its real meaning in the past years. Back then, being a nice guy meant you were genuinely a kind, caring person. But since the internet came along, some guys have labeled themselves as nice, but they don’t live up to it. Deep inside the crooked crannies of their souls, they carry some heavy, hateful baggage.

Being a decent person is more important than being nice. When you only want to be seen as nice without actually being one, you miss the point. This guy is a perfect example of such a situation. He seems to have a brain the size of an egg with the smoothness to match.

Block The Nice Guy

There is a world of difference between stalking and being able to move on from a relationship. Not knowing the meaning of either is a sign that you need to hop on the internet and do some reading or meditate on your current life situation. “Why are you here?” And “what is your purpose in life, beyond finding validation in others?” are two basic questions you should be able to answer.

Essentially, if you do not know what moving on is like or what differentiates it from stalking, you are the problem, not the solution—and you’re certainly not nice. Block and cut contact with any guy who cannot take no for an answer. 

A Nice Manipulator

A relationship that starts with a question about how to manipulate people is an assurance that the person asking has the worst of intentions and is probably about to self-destruct. They could either be a Disney villain or just your garden-variety jerk.

This guy clearly gives himself away when he not only admits his sour intentions but also throws in that he is “really a nice guy” underneath all that manipulative scheming. Run as fast as you can away from guys like this.

Nice Guy Commendations

A job recommendation is a standard process. You give an employer the name and contact of a colleague or friend you once worked with and describe them in a positive light. That is all there is to it. Or is it?

When your colleague or friend is a “nice guy,” the process may not be as easy. As they consider good behavior transactional, they will try to leverage their position of power to creepily make moves on you—or worse. This guy should make your skin crawl.

Wrong move

If you are worried about dating a single mother, then don’t date one. Having to open what was supposed to be a flirtatious text with your doubts about dating a single parent is a surefire way to instantly ruin anything good that might have come your way.

This guy could learn to grow after reflecting on the poor quality of his messages, but unfortunately, he’s probably too busy looking at himself in front of the mirror and telling himself how much of a nice guy he is. We wish him good luck with all the future rejections he’ll always get. 

Sore Nice Guy

This nice guy can’t stand losing at the game of life. There is never any reason to wish pain or hurt on someone you hardly know, but this guy did just that to a person who innocently answered a question he asked. The guy can’t seem to accept that he does not fall anywhere near the woman’s standard.

Instead of taking her response with a grain of salt, he decided to take it personally and get offended. Worse, he even wished the person ill. This manchild has a lot to learn about life. We hope that he gets stuck on an island and learns to live with himself until he realizes the error of his ways.

Ice Cream Is Enough

When we’re feeling blue, and it’s as though no one seems to care, a little cheerful gesture can go a long way. Who wouldn’t accept some ice cream from a friend? But if the ice cream deliverer feels entitled to a bit more from you, maybe that friend is not a friend at all.

Doing nice things for others does not mean they owe you. The genuine gesture of kindness should not expect anything in return. Forcing more than a “thank you” from others is a good sign to stay away from that person forever.

This Gentleman Prefers Revenge

Being a gentleman means being able to roll with the punches. You value others’ comfort more than your own. This guy thought he was a real gentleman by holding the car door open for a woman and bowing his head as she entered and sat in the car.

He’s only a gentleman in his head. A true-blooded nice guy would not slam the door on a woman’s fingers just because she did not say thank you to a gentlemanly gesture as if she owes the guy something. Though a thank you would have been nice. Not receiving one does not give anyone the right to commit physical assault. This nice guy deserves to be in the slammer himself.

A Wild “Nice Guy” Appears

A truly nice guy, when ignored, will simply dust himself up and pull himself up his bootstraps. Here’s a breakdown of the process every woman has to go through when a “nice guy” presents himself, as told through a Pokemon battle.

It’s a shame we can’t just whittle down their health points and catch them in a Pokeball. If that were possible, we could just send them to the computer where they would live forever. For now, the only way we can catch them is after they send dumb messages online.

Give This Bad Guy A Break

This nice guy has had it up to his neck about how nice he had to be. He’s had enough of his fake nice guy antics and decided to keep it real. He’s going to turn into a bad guy—because that’s what he was all along.

As well as being insensitive in general, he’s also numb to the standard use of grammar and spelling. He’s not only painting himself in a bad light, but he’s also putting on display the fact that he did not pay any attention in his 4th-grade English class.

No One Asked—But He Answered

Chivalry is indeed dead—at least when it comes to this guy—all while he pretends to be the most chivalrous person on Tinder. Never mind all the other red flags on display on this man’s profile. The dead giveaway? He openly proclaimed that he wouldn’t ask about your nudes—my, what a gentleman!

The only reason this guy mentioned that he wouldn’t ask for nudes is that he is actually considering asking you for your nude pictures. Maybe the reason so many men are looking for “traditional, conservative women” is that they won’t know better. The bar can’t ever get that low, sorry to say, Nigel. 

Pre-Planned Response

This message is a living, breathing, walking red flag. First, the guy claims to be a twenty-year-old. But he is actually talking to and flirting with a minor. He is also loudly and proudly displaying his weekly salary. Another red flag is how he insists on paying for the date.

It’s fairly obvious that he has no idea how conversations are held. Generally speaking, they’re held between two people. That’s just an observation. We can’t imagine this guy being so chatty in real life. If he were… well, it would be a sight to behold.

Proud Stalker

This nice, loving guy is not afraid to admit that he is a stalker. So much so that he loudly and proudly claimed to have paid to acquire a person’s phone number. Cool and normal, as they say, these days. But wait, there’s more.

When the person he stalked decided sensibly not to talk to him, he called that person a dog. He also made a threat that would be more than enough to warrant an arrest. Is this real? Absolutely. Does it happen often? More often than you’d think.

Hello, Goodbye

If you are sending unsolicited messages to someone and they are not replying, there are two actions you can take depending on if you’re a nice guy or not. Either you can wait for them to respond, or you could threaten them because they did not do what you wanted them to.

Harassing someone because they did not reply at the time you want is a sad and lowly thing to do. Common courtesy is the best way to attract someone to you. This guy is only attracting an internal sense of resentment. They’re a dime a dozen. 

Guilt-Tripper Nice Guy

Going to the pharmacy is a usually uneventful affair. You only need to say “hi” to the pharmacist, take the items on your prescription and make your exit. There is no reason to interact with a pharmacist in an unprofessional manner. But this nice guy pharmacist decided to take it over the line.

Pharmacists are responsible for protecting the patient’s information. There is no valid reason for any pharmacist to look up a patient’s name online to try and befriend them. This “nice guy” deserved to lose his job. The customer also does not deserve the guilt-trip treatment just because he became unemployed. He did that to himself all on his own.

The Marrying Kind

This nice guy is definitely the marrying kind. We would be happy if this post was intended as a joke. But if it was not, then this guy needs to have his head checked. A marriage proposal is a life-changing moment. The decision to unite with someone for life should be mutual for both parties.

This guy believes that anyone who says no to him is either a psycho or a lady of the night. We believe even God fears for the dating future of this God-forsaken man. What is it with all these men virtue signaling and expecting a reward, anyway?

An Unsolicited Hello

Social media has allowed people from all walks of life to overshare their lives at an almost catastrophic level. Such openness sometimes encourages strangers to comment openly on people’s posts. The result? Well, you can read it for yourself.

As you can see, this strange man took a random story post as an opportunity to flirt with the poster. When his efforts were rightfully rebuffed, he resorted to name-calling—because that is what fake nice guys do, almost like clockwork.

Being Alone Is Better Than Being With This Nice Guy

This nice guy decided to make up facts out of thin air just to sell the idea that women should have no choice but to need him. Currently, data shows that the American female population is at 50.8%. Besides being wrong on a fundamental level, he is also spouting fake statistics.

Also, does this group solely exist to randomly send spam messages to women in the United States? The last thing women should worry about is ending up alone compared to getting messages from these “nice guys.”

Leave God Out of This

If he’s up there, God is probably shaking his head at how much his name has been invoked by humans. They say that God watches over every action. If that’s the case, we can’t imagine they’d be much amused by this guy’s pathetic attempt at an online flirt.

Once again, we’re looking at a creepy person covering for themselves by hiding behind institutions that originally stood for being in touch with yourself on a mindful and loving level. This guy wouldn’t know love if it struck him with lightning.

The Joke’s On Us

Being able to take and give jibes is a good sign of a healthy relationship. Most jokes are not at all malicious, though a few might border on harshness. However, this joke did not sit well with some people. So much so that they felt the need to intervene.

Unfortunately, the internet tends to bring out the best and worst of people. It’s not just that they’re hiding through a screen. It’s that they’re hiding from themselves. These comments took a good-natured joke too seriously. Relax—the joke meant no harm, and no one was hurt in the process. 

Casual Tux

College is a fun time for most, difficult for a few, and wild for some. This message exchange between two people shows how wild college life can be—but not in a good way. This person’s attempt to hook up proves that not everybody there has the intelligence to warrant their place in college.

His suggestion to put on a tux did not help his case. Why he thought a tux would make a difference is beyond anyone’s logic. Well, they say that college is a time of experimentation. Perhaps he’s experimenting with alternate forms of logic—otherwise known as idiocy. 

What The “Woo” Is Going On?

The purpose of this message is not clear. Is this man trying to be cute, thus the feigned baby talk? What was the “shake nervously” all about? If he was indeed shaking nervously, why the sudden change of heart and the threat of violence by the end of the text? This message is more than awkward; it is uncomfortable.

If this were an actual face-to-face conversation, this would deserve a 911 call. Save yourself the embarrassment and talk to a wall to practice your non-existent social skills.

A Gentleman Stalker

Social media has made it possible for almost anyone to message strangers in any part of the world. Though it can be a good thing sometimes, it can also be harmful. Some will use the internet to stalk their crush.

This random guy believes that he has the right to insult a girl online just because he thinks she is single. To up the ante, he also decided to insult her boyfriend. This nice guy probably thinks, “if you can’t have them, just make fun of them.”

Creepy Date Offer From A Stalker

If this guy were serious in his intent to take a woman out for a date, he would have asked her while they were in line. He would not scribble down the girl’s number in his head and wait to get home to text her. If he had the energy to memorize all those numbers, he highly likely also had the energy to say a short “hi.”

Alas, he prefers to take the low road and get rejected because of his creepy stalker ways. Good grief. Men are in a terrible state if their knowledge of socializing and talking to the opposite sex is this bad. It’s sad to see.

Polite Rude Guy

Most creeps are direct about what they want. They either demand a nude picture or something else. But this guy is beating around the bush. Fortunately, the girl destroyed him with just a few words. And as usual, he had a fragile ego and reacted badly. How novel.

Honestly, the guy’s last message was funny. Too bad he was more of a jerk than a joker. What more is there to say other than “don’t do it” or, “if you see this type of behavior, cut them out of your life.”

This Is Inappropriate

When this woman went on a holiday a year ago, she probably did not expect the hotel receptionist to contact her. But apparently, despite all common decency and critical thinking, he did. Aren’t hotels supposed to keep such information confidential?

The woman should call the hotel to complain. Traveling by yourself is scary enough. Having a creepy stalker look for your contact details and then message you is just plain crazy—another case of a baby's brain controlling a fully-grown adult male body.

Bad Coworker

Getting a new job and having to deal with new coworkers is difficult. But having to deal with jerks like this one adds a whole level of pressure that requires more energy than necessary. These guys have black holes for hearts and broken eggshells for brains.

Just because someone didn’t reply immediately doesn’t mean you were being ignored. But having an attitude is one sure way to be definitely rejected. This guy needs to learn that patience is a virtue. And he should probably check himself in for therapy or learn some basic empathy.

The Source Of Anxiety And Depression

This guy seems to be talking to himself, and he seems to be having a good time of it. It seems that this conversation initially started after he met a woman on a dating site. Their conversation became a one-way street—for good reason, it seems.

Apparently, he has discovered the source of anxiety and depression. But at the rate he is going, anyone would easily have anxiety and depression just from talking to him. What an eye-roller. No matter how much you try to teach them that these kinds of messages don’t work (by ignoring them), the more they seem to want to try. 

Desperation

Valentine’s Day is when some people go gaga over their partner, while others simply expose their craziness. This guy decided it would be the day to profess his love for a girl he barely knew. It’s not exactly the riveting start to a blossoming love story.

Though she was already in a relationship—with another woman—it still didn’t stop him from insisting that she should like him as well. Unfortunately, the two work at the same company. The girl better look for a new job for her peace of mind’s sake. Or, if the company is halfway decent, it should have a way to resolve this harassment without fuss.

Consent Doesn’t Work That Way

This guy does not know how consent works. For him, it is similar to ordering food from a restaurant. He also thinks he is a nice guy. Everything is a transaction with these people. Is it any wonder what these types of men call the women that reject them? It’s pure projection.

Everything wrong with his thinking is reflected in this post. No one owes him kisses. The entitlement on display here is grotesque. It’s sad that these men have such little good emotional energy sent their way, but this is not the solution.