Internet posts probably aren’t where you’d expect to see plot twists, which are normally reserved for novels, TV shows, or movies. Most online posts are just plain bland—most people just write boring diary-style entries about themselves—but some people pen tweets or Facebook posts that would give even Agatha Christie a run for her money.
These messages will turn your expectations inside out, upside down, and into reverse order. Get ready for a roller coaster of emotions as your brain backflips and barrel-rolls through a tour of the unexpected—or maybe these posts will just make you chuckle. Either way, you’ll never see these twists coming.
Afraid Of The Dentist
It's funny how you can work with someone for years without ever getting to know them. You’d think that between all those days of professionalism, something would slip out. For example, this tweeter discovered a previously unknown fact about the medical professional with whom he had been purchasing his goods for the last ten years.
It’s just that this professional operated with a license that most governmental authorities wouldn’t recognize. We have one question we have about this story: why would a dentist need a side gig selling stuff on the street? Actually, in this economy, it does make some sense.
They Are Not Interchangeable
People get rather sensitive when it comes to their children, regardless of whether they have two or four legs. This person was merely trying to point out that the fun little monikers we come up with for our pets are a little absurd.
He probably didn't mean anything bad here; he’s just running the phrase to its logical conclusion. It’s definitely an evocative image—and it would be especially impactful coming out of the mouth of a children’s doctor, that’s for sure.
Dog Lovers Should Stick Together
A significant number of dog owners travel with their canine companions. This ensures that they never find themselves alone and gives them a valid reason to occupy two seats at all times to ensure oddballs sitting there don’t try to make polite conversation. However, it did not work for this woman.
This lady undoubtedly believed that the man would complain about something, but there was a twist. It seems that he was checking to see whether he also had permission to take his doggo out. It’s a good thing that she gave him an answer. We’re not sure how much air that chihuahua would have had.
Lucky People Marry Their Best Friend
People tend to believe that their significant other should also be their closest friend. However, this is not always the case for everybody. In this instance, @joeheenan took his connection with his closest friend much too seriously and took things way too far.
After ten years of marriage, we find it hard to believe that his wife has not yet persuaded her husband to have the bigamous marriage dissolved. If we were in her position, we would provide Joe with an ultimatum and a choice. Either he gives up his marriage to his best buddy, or he goes without a wife!
Photo Magic
How would you feel if, after seeing its advertisement and signing up for this course, you discovered that it was a Photoshop course? We have a feeling that this news would leave you feeling dissatisfied, just as it did us.
However, after collecting ourselves, we would probably be able to appreciate the humorous nature of this piece. To be fair, this is a great way to sell the power of Photoshop, and it’s a similar technique shared by many internet denizens the world over.
Making Great Things Happen
Politics has a way of very quickly driving a divide between family members. It’s true in particular if the house is composed of Republicans and Democrats. The lesson that we have all taken away from the events of the last several years is that resorting to violence is never the solution.
It’s the classic setup and twist—those of one kind of political thinking tend to watch for a reason to get defensive about their skin color or ideology while also expecting their opponents to actually care about children after they’re born. Expectations thoroughly flipped!
Is This One Out “Those Questions”?
Weird things come out of the mouths of children, don't they? Of course, their words aren't always acceptable, but sometimes what they say is cute enough anyway. Then there are instances when kids ask perplexing questions that we need to look up the answers to and pretend we knew the answer all along.
The cuteness quotient, however, is drastically reduced when the child turns out to be 24 years old and struggling to overcome an addiction to illicit substances. The only question remaining is why he didn’t look the solution up on his own using Google.
Putting Theory Into Practice
When you first read the words posted on the laboratory door, you might get the impression that you are about to be presented with an epiphany. But in the end, a lab member just wanted to clarify precisely how they felt about the laboratory and the people responsible for maintaining it.
Even though this message is quite sarcastic, we couldn't help but giggle when we read it. So from this point on, whenever you find yourself in doubt, just remember this point—this proverb, as it were. Nobody knows what they’re doing, not people in suits, not scientists—no one.
Just Being Polite
It's not always easy knowing the kind of appropriate action you should take, but it’s not a bad idea to aim to help others out. However, in all honesty, we are never usually very interested in completing work on behalf of somebody else. Despite this, we go ahead and make the offer anyway.
The problem is that the majority of people will take us up on that offer when they get the chance to do so. So don’t do something just to make a good impression on others; rather, do things because you want to.
Even The Skin
It's not uncommon for the skin to be the most flavorful portion of any food. Unless, of course, there is a thick rind like the one on a watermelon, which would be an exception. Before we understood that the person in question wasn't talking about our tried-and-true pizza dough, we were all set to give this person our assent.
What an anti-climactic twist! Sorry, @m6ose, but we just don't see things from the same perspective. Even though the rind is edible, we can’t recommend eating that part of the watermelon, sorry. Just no.
Parents Know Best
Some people, when told that they will never amount to anything, work very hard to prove the opposite. As a result, when we saw this tweet, we immediately thought we were about to be shown some inspirational accomplishment. Instead, we were inspirationally fooled.
It seems that this stepfather had a strong understanding of his stepson's personality and the motivations that drove him. In addition, it's a positive sign that this poster can acknowledge his shortcomings. That's generally the first step in self-improvement—right?
Inaccurate Report
Many films have been produced about the Chernobyl disaster since the terrible event occurred. However, the most significant was the HBO program which recounted the accident as an excellent drama. If you have watched it, have you ever found yourself wondering how true to life it was?
As we first read this message, we were under the impression that the drama was riddled with errors based on this poster’s message. That still might be true, depending on what kind of mutations his friend received after being exposed to so much radiation.
Someone’s Watching Us
We’re all required to deal with the challenging problem of inflation. Sometimes prices just have to go up, but you might find yourself in a sticky situation if prices go up, but your wage doesn’t. This might be relatable to you if you’re a working-class type.
That’s one heck of a way to deal with inflation. If you can’t afford it, just “manifest destiny” in your local supermarket. Obviously, we don’t actually condone shoplifting—but if you are desperate, just remember that most supermarkets throw out perfectly good food around the back because they’re about to hit the sell-by-date.
Doctors Know Best
It is always a relief when your physician displays a little humor. It’s useful in making those uncomfortable moments a little less tense—for example when they are talking about modifying their diet, which tends to be a sensitive and unpleasant issue.
After about a week on a diet, some of us might opt for this mysterious plane ride—but if you stick it out, you might even be fit and strong enough to avenge all those people who died in the crash—maybe by using an apple as a weapon or something.
Taking Sides
Family gatherings can get contentious. There is always going to be someone who initiates a dispute or quarrel of some kind. When something like this occurs, people are often required to choose a side, which may lead to a snowball effect of even more conflicts.
It would seem that the wisest course of action is to avoid taking sides. It has come to our attention that @TweetPotato314 was not referring to factions in his original tweet—he was more interested in carving up the roasties and green beans, which, because of all the arguing, were going unplundered.
The Teacher Is Right
Sometimes, even long after we've graduated from school, we harbor hatred for the educators who didn't believe in us. But what if a student just isn’t capable of achieving academic excellence? Academia isn’t for everyone, after all—sometimes, it can even hinder creativity.
Although this person never made it in the publishing industry (which is its own little nest of snakes), it’s clear that they have some writing potential—at least in terms of writing one-liners. We hear that Marvel scripts these days are written out of these kinds of quips. Maybe he could start there.
Stranger Danger
After a long and trying day, it's helpful to have someone to talk things over. But what do you do if you don't have anybody? It has come to our attention that there are websites that make it possible to initiate a conversation with a stranger.
Obviously, this conversation went in a very different direction than anybody anticipated. We can't get beyond the "pineapple beneath the sea" reference no matter how hard we try. Obviously, Spongebob seems to have been venting his deeply repressed frustration on the internet.
The Panama Flag
Grandparents are often regarded as some of the most special people in the family. Either they just don't care about keeping up to date with current affairs, or they just aren't aware of what's going on. There is no ignoring the fact that they sometimes behave in bizarre ways and say bizarre things.
This post was going along swimmingly until it suddenly took a detour in an absurdly off-topic path. It would seem that the grandmother of this person has, through no fault of her own, been associated with some really dubious material... Look at how adorable she is in that image; we couldn’t hold it against her even if we tried.
I Know It Looks Bad But…
We have all been in this situation—you’ve just sent an email or message that might be taken in a number of different ways by the recipient. Sometimes it’s understood as intended, and other times it doesn't go so well—especially when you accidentally send the message without finishing your thought.
If you’re wondering what the last word on this message was, just try to guess which word was cut off halfway through. Here’s a tip: the word appears twice in the message already; it’s three words long and starts with the letter “A.”
My New Phone
As new phones become available, those of us in a continual state of rivalry with one another scramble to get our hands on the latest model. When we get a new phone, it's only natural to want to flaunt it in front of friends and family as soon as possible.
Taking someone’s lost phone hardly seems flex-worthy, and it also seems a little cruel, but it’s also a pretty funny thing to say. Phones these days are so thin, and it’s easy to let them slide out of your pocket. Remember to keep your valuables safe, folks!
Got Milk?
As soon as we started reading this tweet, we suspected it would have a questionable conclusion. Even though we knew that it probably wasn't the best place to drink white beverages, the punchline still managed to slay us.
Who goes around drinking other people’s milk, anyway? Still, we can imagine that keeping milk fresh in a sperm bank is pretty easy. What isn’t easy is making sure that you don’t mix it up with the regular samples.
Where Is Autocorrect?
We are aware that grammar can be difficult for some folks. For example, simply moving a word from one place to another might completely alter a sentence’s meaning; however, in this instance, we presumed that they were talking about the punctuation mark known as a colon.
As a rule comma most punctuation is not written out as words semicolon however comma we think that while this picture fails at explaining a point of grammar comma it does a pretty great job at making us laugh exclamation mark.
Dating Is Hard
Having the blessing of your partner’s family is essential, particularly during the winter holiday season. However, it is not always easy to get a parents' approval. Consequently, from the moment we first saw this tweet, we were completely on the girl's side. However, we changed our minds after seeing her second tweet…
Until we realized that we were dealing with a homewrecker, everything was fun and games. After that, we formed harsh opinions about her. But it takes two to tango, so in the interest of balance—shame on her boyfriend, too!
Did He Romanticize Being Mugged?
Being philanthropic is a nice trait to have, and it may make a significant difference in the lives of other people. So when we initially started reading this tweet, we had the impression that it would tell us a usual and heartwarming narrative of someone giving something back to society.
It now seems that we were gravely wrong. It's incredible how much can shift in the twinkling of an eye, or in this instance, the twinkling of the barrel of a gun. At least he didn’t get hurt and will now be able to share his wild story with others.
One Way Of Putting It
This person gives off the impression of being interested in preserving the environment and, subsequently, preserving the human race by calling property rights into question. However, the rant then takes a turn for the unexpected.
It turned out that the entire affair was about a parking ticket! Who goes so deep into thought about something as trivial as that? We hope that the parking enforcement officer who issued this citation takes all of these ideas into account.
A Loving Ghost?
This actually helps to clarify a lot of things! Why blame having low confidence, an unhealthy diet, or a lack of personality when you can blame ghosts instead? Right until we read the last phrase of this tweet, we were totally on board with this explanation.
Then again, if you’re willing to take a ghost for a lover, we say more power to you. Who are we to say who you can or can’t love? We’re not for inter-incorporeal-corporeal relationships. We just wonder if there’s ever a problem with cleaning up ectoplasm.
Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!
When we initially began reading this tweet, we really and honestly believed that we were about to receive some encouraging words, but it turns out that we got it all wrong, once again. Ever heard of “quit while you’re ahead”? This guy seems to have taken it one step further.
Although we are not trained therapists, we get the impression that @rabarbaro_ harbors more self-hatred than he does resent towards his mother, but we get it. Meeting and overcoming challenges can feel great, but sometimes, when you feel like everything you do is a challenge, you just want to stop for a while.
Take A Chance
It takes a lot of guts for a person to approach their crush and tell them how they feel. It takes a significant amount of bravery and fortitude to put yourself out there and run the danger of being turned down. This Twitter user offers their best advice on the subject.
They made a good attempt but then took a sharp turn to the left, away from the optimistic path. As a result, he allowed his heartache to prevent him from making that all-important leap of faith, managing to be both humorous and depressing all at the same time!
Rules Are Rules
We were forced into a whole new degree of self-isolation due to the extraordinary times we lived through in the previous few years. For example, if anybody suspected they had the virus, they were required to spend ten to fourteen days in isolation. The regulations were extremely explicit about this need.
At first glance, it would seem that this man was simply attempting to be a considerate partner. However, as we continue reading, we discover that he has, in fact, locked his wife out of the house and is using the pretext of the quarantine to rationalize his cruel behavior.
This Is Not Advisable
They can't possibly have been anticipating that conclusion, could they? This macabre post had us giggling even before we reached the end. Yes, we know this was simply one person goofing around and having a good time.
Otherwise, this Twitter user would probably be behind bars! Please assure us of this, so our heart rates don’t skyrocket. This might be a clever tweet, but just don’t try this at home—or on an airplane—or anywhere, we guess.
Crushing On The Dad
An important milestone in every relationship is when you’re asked to spend the night or when being introduced to your partner’s parents. However, no one in their right mind should ever consider inviting their future father-in-law to a sleepover party of any kind—regardless of how good-looking he is!
This person had us thinking he was going in one direction when he pulled the rug out from under us. We are curious as to how the father dealt with it. We’re just keeping our fingers crossed that he's got a good sense of humor.
Meal Concealed
It is important to treat a restaurant server with the utmost respect. We are left wondering just what it was that this Twitter user did to the waiter that caused him to conceal their meal. In this case, it’s no longer a turn of phrase!
It’s just like using chopsticks to eat rice—or if you’re really bold, soup. It makes it harder to eat, but the difficulty—and overcoming that difficulty—makes the food taste extra tasty, somehow. But having to find our own meal in a restaurant sounds a step too far for us.
Checking In With The Doctor
Because maintaining good mental health is no laughing matter, the number shown here should not come as much of a surprise. However, this indicates that out of the three people in the same room, just one of them is not affected by long-term depression. Lucky them!
Who’s to say that a doctor can’t also suffer from depression? How are they going to make themselves feel better? Are they going to stand in front of a mirror? Maybe you should ask them the next time you see them—unless you’re being charged like 100 dollars for a check-up, then maybe give it a miss.
No Honor Among Thieves
When we first heard it, it sounded like a screenplay for a stereotypical romantic comedy or adult movie, but as the story progresses, we realize that it is nothing like what we thought it was going to be—it turned out to be something even crazier.
The chuckle insert makes the rest of the tweet worthwhile. We believe this person might benefit from a little more training before attempting to pull off their first heist. Actually… maybe they should give the whole thing up, for everyone’s good.
Uncle Ben?
When we are children, other people often give us many nicknames. Some of them are chill, while others are quite unpleasant. Unfortunately, when folks finish reading this narrative, they might be left with a chill running down their spine.
This amusing tweet makes a snide reference to the story of that well-known web-slinger. Only comic book fans—or anyone who caught the last three or so reboots of the Spider-man franchise—will get this joke.
She Needs A Home
Take a look at that mug! If we were put in a position where we had to pick, then we would end up making the same choice. This adorable puppy found a home, only to learn that one of the family was allergic to dogs. That shouldn't be an issue for the young dog, should it!?
This man is really testing the water by publishing this on social media where his wife may see it. If we look at her page, we are willing to wager that she also has an advertisement posted too, in which she is also looking to get rid of her spouse.
Fun Facts
This article begins out with a lot of useful information. Because it is beautifully written and looks to flow with the rest of the piece, one may not notice the shift in tone as we read it if you’re just skimming it. This is especially true if we are reading quickly.
Around the time of the midway point, the mood shifts noticeably. This is a really effective way of determining whether or not someone is paying attention to what it is that they are reading. We wonder how many people would throw one of those fluffy popcorn nuggets in their mouths?
Not To Be Taken Literally
When we see postings like these, it definitely makes us question the intelligence of the general population. We aren't trying to imply that the whole world is stupid, but there are a few people that significantly drag down the average intelligence of the group.
Just because a watch can swim with you, it doesn’t mean that you will be able to swim with it on if you never learned how to float. Can you imagine the size of the disclaimer if Amazon had to account for all those people who take everything literally?
Nobody’s Going To Wear Those
Playing around with words that sound the same but have very different meanings is always a lot of fun. Here’s a story about peach cobbler—or should we say the peach cobbler? In any case, the story ends in a different way than you might expect.
Just in case any of you weren’t born before the 1870s, a cobbler is someone who fixes shoes. Before shoe companies moved their factories to developing countries to exploit cheaper labor, shoes used to be very expensive—so expensive, in fact, that throwing a pair out in favor of a new one would cost as much as a house! Luckily, houses those days went for about a month’s pay in today’s money.
What’s The Emergency?
It’s sometimes better to hold off on picking up the phone, so the person on the other end of the line doesn't get the impression that you were looking for their attention too quickly. Of course, you can get away with it at home, but if anyone does it at work, you could put yourself in a precarious position.
Especially if you work in a 911 call center, actually, in this case, you’d be putting the caller at risk! Either way, you won’t last long if you have this attitude at work. And in the case of a 911 respondent, we doubly hope so!