We admire the bravery of people willing to get roasted on the internet. It’s one thing to have a few friends pick apart your looks, but it’s quite another to have a few thousand strangers mercilessly tear you apart (metaphorically speaking). Regardless, plenty of people love doing it – hence the whole subreddit r/roastme.
We imagine most of them take it with a grain of salt, but who knows, some of these roasts are downright savage. We imagine more than a few regretted their decision. Either that or they learned to laugh at themselves a bit more. Have a look at these 39 roasts to see what you think.
Sid’s lost sibling
If you’ve ever seen any of the Ice Age films, then you’re probably familiar with the character Sid. A ground sloth with a heavy lisp, he’s known for being carefree, friendly, funny, and prone to accidents. What are his siblings like?
Like the woman above, according to the roaster. Considering how charming Sid’s personality is and the fact that sloths get to sleep all day, being a sibling of Sid doesn’t sound bad. However, the “less attractive” part is a little harsh.
A hatless garden gnome
Maybe you’ve never seen this guy walking around in real life, but you might have seen him tucked away in the corner of your garden protecting the veggies and flowers. That’s because he looks like a garden gnome.
Those lovable and popular statues are well known for their long white beards, chubby bellies, and disgruntled looks. This guy has got it all – minus the characteristic red hat. We need to pitch in and buy him a red hat so he doesn’t get angrier.
Hello, my name is
Some people stick out because they have a distinctive physical appearance (they’re tall, have colorful hair, or have multiple face tattoos). Others stick out for the way they talk (they have a very deep voice, a high squeaky one, or a unique accent). Others, however, don’t stick out at all.
That’s harsh (and also funny). It’s not everyone’s job to be loud and noticeable. Some people like to blend into the background, talk as little as possible, and enjoy the food at the family reunion.
Dollar store eyebrows
Many people spend hours brushing, trimming, and massaging their eyebrows to get just the right look. Some take it further with a bit of threading and waxing. The woman below clearly spent a lot of time getting her eyebrows just right for a roast.
By “just right,” we mean perfect for people to hurl insults at. One Redditor kicked it off with a sarcastic question about buying “Velcro eyebrows.” Another piled atop by answering – at the dollar store discount bin.
DIY Collagen
Do-it-yourself (or DIY) hacks are all the rage on the internet. Countless websites and videos are dedicated to showing people how to fix broken appliances, upcycle old clothes, and decorate their homes without calling in the (expensive) experts. There is also a budding industry of DIY beauty hacks.
That’s what the roasters focused on. Although we don’t know if the woman above actually did DIY collagen injections, it’s a harsh burn nonetheless. In general, it’s best to keep the cosmetic procedures to the professionals.
A hairline on the move
Whether or not the guy below wanted to be roasted or “roosted” (take a look at the writing), he got the former. The roast focused on his receding hairline – a condition that usually hits men in their late 30s.
For the guy above, however, it came much earlier. One Redditor honed in on this with a harsh burn – saying the hairline receded away because it wants nothing to do with his face. Ouch! We hope he was able to laugh it off.
The perils of smiling for a “roast me” pic
If a full picture is worth a thousand words, then a smile is worth at least a few snarky comments. Unfortunately, the woman below learned that the hard way when she cracked a big smile before posting a “roast me” request.
The internet, not known for holding back, immediately jumped up to the challenge by making fun of her gums. They’re more exposed than “an overturned high school desk.” That’s harsh and also disgusting – there’s a lot of half-chewed gum there!
The question you shouldn’t ask the internet
The guy below added a little fuel to the fire before he posted the “roast me” pic to Reddit. Perhaps it was done sincerely, but it’s also likely that it was done to spark the savage responses. The question? Look below.
Reddit was keen to provide reasons why, at 24 years old, he had never had a relationship. Chief among them was his face – it looked like a mashup between actress Lindsey Lohan and actor Jean-Claude van Damme. Maybe that’s it.
Perils of red hair
Hair trends come and go at a dizzying pace. Sometimes it’s a particular color that’s in, other times it’s a certain style that’s all the rage. For a while, having bright red hair was big – everyone from Rhianna to Bella Thorne to Emma Stone rocked it with ease.
Not everyone can pull it off, though. For example, the woman above. When she volunteered to be roasted, the user Feltz commented that red hair made her look like a stop sign.
The lost Hanson brother
Back in the late-90s, everyone and their granny was humming along to Hanson’s catchy hit “MMMBop.” Most of the brothers were kids at the time it became a massive hit. After that hit, however, the band seemed to disappear from the face of the musical world.
Well, it looks like we found at least one of the lost Hanson brothers. At least that’s the conclusion one Reddit user came to when the guy above posted a “roast me” request. We see the resemblance.
A perfect extra for the movie “Up”
The subreddit r/roastme is known for some clever roasts and savage burns. People put up their pictures for all sorts of reasons, but we imagine most of them do so because they’re able to laugh at themselves. Hopefully, that’s the case with this next guy.
Soon after posting his pic, this guy got a harsh burn – someone compared the way his head is shaped to the way a balloon looks. Maybe that could be useful for getting a role in the sequel to Up.
Assistant Manager
When this happy-go-lucky guy asked for a roast, he probably wasn’t expecting people to concoct a whole backstory for him. Most roasts focus on making fun of physical features (overdone eyebrows, questionable tattoos, etc.), but this one focused on employment.
To be honest, we think the Reddit user above is onto something. He looks like he would be a great assistant manager – and all you need is a magic lamp for him to suddenly appear! Who wouldn’t want that kind of convenience?
Affirmative or negative, not yes or no
As we’ve seen from above, people volunteer to be roasted for all sorts of reasons. Mostly, they’re curious about what others think of them or they want to laugh at themselves. The security guard below, however, looks very serious.
We’re surprised people glossed over the large mustache or the security guard suit with the attached radio. That being said, they managed to capture the seriousness of his look by saying he never uses “yes” or “no” – only “affirmative” or “negative.”
Playdough body
Many of us have fond memories of stretching and molding playdough while in kindergarten. We would make it into whatever form our minds could dream up – most likely a blobby mess. Although it’s meant for kids, it’s a great material for all ages.
Unfortunately, for the “roast me” volunteer above, some savage Redditor noticed a similarity between his body shape and playdough. Oomph, that was harsh! We just hope the roastee molds his response in a way that takes the roast lightly.
Decaf Aspirations
Some people (especially extroverts) love working in customer service jobs because they get to talk and solve problems all day long. Other people (most often introverts) don’t love customer service jobs. They still do them for the money, but they’re far from excited about it.
The guy above clearly falls into camp two – he’s not pumped about his coffee shop gig. He wrote the “roast me” on the company cup and someone chimed in about his receding hairline and career aspirations.
A little too much ice cream
Many of us have two selves. The first is the one we portray to the world. The second is the one we keep to ourselves. They aren’t always the same. For example, the guy below plays the “hardcore” tough guy with tattoos and a tank top.
However, when alone, he seems to be full of soft-serve ice cream – not exactly a rugged diet. We don’t know how well the comment went over with the guy above but we do know that soft-serve ice cream is delicious.
Don’t burn plastic
We are all aware that humans are using a lot of plastic – many would say too much. It’s in shopping bags, drinking straws, and beauty products. Many argue that we should reduce our use of plastic.
The plastic in the comment above doesn’t refer to shopping bags or plastic straws, but to plastic surgery. From a wordplay perspective, it’s a clever burn, but it’s also a roast that’s a bit too mean for our liking. We wonder how she took the burn.
No need for camouflage
This next one reminds us of the “you must wear a nametag at family reunions” post above. It’s about people without an overly distinctive look. For better or worse, some people just don’t have strong features that stick out.
Saying you don’t need camouflage to blend in is pretty harsh, but she also asked to be roasted. On top of that, she’s tough enough to be in the army, so we imagine she took this roast with a grain of salt.
Covering up acne
Makeup is perfect for hiding the blemishes and imperfections that you don’t want others to see – acne being chief among them. That being said, so many people use makeup that they can easily notice the techniques in others. The woman who posted the “roast me” picture below learned that out the hard way.
Some clever Redditor called out her use of makeup in a less than kind way – “I can literally hear your acne screaming for air!” Although harsh, we hope she took it light-heartedly.
When you can’t pronounce the letter “s”
Clearly pronouncing the letter “s” when you’re missing your front teeth is difficult to do – often it sounds like the hiss of a snake. When the guy below posted a “roast me” request, that became the focus of the roast.
“Roatht me.” Those two words were all it took to get to the core of it. Judging from crazed expression on his face, it seems like he’s able to take a joke, so we don’t imagine he took it too seriously.
Shiny Skin
Whatever the reason – the particular lighting in the room or the glare from the camera – the woman’s face below took on a deep shine. Her skin is glistening and a little greasy. That unique facial feature became the central focus of the roast.
Although she might have used moisturizer, we doubt that came in the form of rubbing a corn dog over your skin. This burn tells us more about the roaster than the roastee – namely, that the roaster was hungry!
A trifecta of insults
Internet roasters usually try to pick out one unique feature and cycle through as many insults as possible. However, the roaster firing off at the unfortunate volunteer below managed to say something about his nose, lips, and eyebrows – a trifecta of burns!
The central theme is having a wide nose and thick eyebrows. We aren’t sure how the roastee feels about that kind of insult, but, in general, it’s important to have thick skin before subjecting yourself to ruthless internet strangers.
Nose-y roasts
Roasters are trained to pick out any distinctive feature and pick it apart. That’s the whole point of a roast – to make fun of physical appearances. The woman below must have known that before subjecting herself to a voluntary roast. However, that doesn’t mean the roasts don’t burn.
“Your nose has a nose.” Yikes! While it’s true that there’s a bit of a bump on her nose, it’s far from the size of another nose. Hopefully, she didn’t get too self-conscious after that comment.
Two faces
The insult “you’re two-faced” usually means that you say one (usually positive) thing when someone is around but another (usually negative) thing when they’re absent. A variation on that insult was used on the following woman.
Rather than calling out anything about her personality or behavior (which is kind of hard from a still picture), the roasters made a “two-faced” comment about her actual face. To them, her symmetrical nose with piercings on both nostrils and a hoop earring underneath look like a second face.
Getting the high score
Sonic the Hedgehog with its famous blue hair came out in the early 1990s because Sega Genesis wanted to compete with Nintendo’s Mario. Since then, the game has been remade for other video game consoles and has even sparked a few movies.
According to the Redditors who roasted the woman above, it also influenced her choice of hair color! The “ring” in the roast refers to both the video game rings that Sonic collected and the desire for an engagement ring.
The perfect shade of lipstick
Many people want to be edgy or quirky. They’re not comfortable fitting in, so they decide to dress up differently or style their hair and face in uncommon ways. This has led to a lot of creativity in the makeup world.
Alongside the traditional red lipstick, manufacturers have also created a bewildering variety of shades that range from pink to purple to “White girl internal sorrow.” We doubt that’s the actual name, but it may fit what the woman was feeling inside.
Groucho Marx the spot
Groucho Marx was a massive comedy star in the 20th century and his distinctive look influenced the so-called “Groucho glasses.” Most people wear them as a joke or as part of a Halloween costume, but they’re also common as regular glasses.
The woman in the roast above wore them that way. However, Redditor roastees immediately saw a similarity and called her out on it! It seems she was missing out on the giant fake mustache – an essential part of the disguise.
Lost upper lip
A “404 error” isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. It’s an annoying internet glitch that means a webpage can’t be found. Either it has been taken offline or it needs to be searched another way. The Redditors who roasted the woman below took that as a starting point.
Instead of a webpage not being found, the roasters couldn’t find the woman’s upper lip. We’re pretty sure that her upper lip is still there, it just gets lost when she cracks a smile.
Audio cassette hair
It’s amazing how many different kinds of hairstyles there are – the mohawk, the ponytail, the bun. A new one that you might not have heard of is the audio cassette curls. The “roast me” volunteer below had that insult leveled at her shortly after posting a picture of her long curls.
Although it might be a stretch, it’s a pretty creative way to describe curls. The roastee looks pretty upbeat, so she probably let that creative insult roll off her shoulders.
Two rebels
Being a teenager is all about finding out where you fit in the world. To find that out, you often have to try on a few different roles – the rebel, the conformist, etc. – to see what sticks. The problem with playing the rebel is that most people wanted to do it.
This is another way to say it isn’t that rebellious or unique. Ear piercings, beanies, and scowls look edgy, but they don’t make you different from all the other teens in the neighborhood.
28 for the third year in a row
One way to stay young is to find the magical fountain of youth. Although many have tried over the centuries, no one has found it yet. Another method is to eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise a lot.
Another way is to lie about your age. That’s what one Reddit user thinks the woman above did. Whether it’s true or false, we hope she got a laugh out of it. In general, however, it’s best to embrace your age.
Oh lord, that’s a burn
New Zealand singer Lorde gained popularity with hits like 2013’s “Royals” and 2014’s “Yellow Flicker Beat.” Alongside her catchy tunes and choreographed dancers, people enjoy the way she dresses. Some fans like her style so much that they try to emulate it.
Not everyone can do it flawlessly, though. The “roast me” volunteer learned that the hard way when a Redditor roaster summed up her look as “discount Lorde.” Ouch! To be fair, however, Lorde doesn’t have a nose piercing.
Barcode bangs
Teenagers walk a tight rope between wanting to be unique and wanting to be part of the crowd. It’s all part of growing up and finding your identity and where it fits. Part of the roastee’s identity below is his love of Japanese manga.
However, the roasters chose to ignore that and focus on his hair – in particular, his bangs. The Reddit user “garerett” found a clever way of saying his bangs look like a barcode on a coupon that could lead to $5 off.
Empty resume
Most teenagers start off their working life in fast-food restaurants, coffee shops, or retail stores. Since it’s relatively low-skilled work, it doesn’t require a whole lot of previous work experience. For teens just getting into the working world, that’s perfect.
From the looks of it, the roastee above is about to quit his first job. If he has other work lined up, then that’s great. If not, then it’s best to stick around because, as the roaster pointed out, his resume is probably empty.
Pythagorean nose
Some people have very symmetrical features. Either their eyes are evenly placed, their ears are the same size, or the teeth are identical. Whatever the reason for the symmetry (lucky genetics or plastic surgery), it seems almost nonhuman when compared to the bumps and asymmetries of other people.
The “roast me” volunteer above has an oddly symmetric nose. There are no bumps or misshapen sides to be seen. Instead, it’s shaped like a perfect triangle – hence the reference to the Pythagorean Theorem.
A creative forehead
Although some of the insults on the Roast Me subreddit are dull and boring, others are fantastically creative and funny. For example, the roastee below has a very prominent forehead. When looking at it, one of the Reddit roasters was reminded of Squidward’s house.
We bet the roastee wasn’t expecting that one. If you’re not a fan of Spongebob Squarepants, then imagine the famous Easter Island statues. Although harsh, it’s also creative. We just hope the roastee can appreciate that while laughing it off.
Your mirror image
The “roast me” volunteer below looks like your average teenager with unkempt hair – in other words, not super distinctive. That might be why the Reddit roasters decided to focus on his look – a mix of surprise, confusion, and shock that is distinctive.
In trying to explain the look, someone said it resulted from the roastee finally getting a good look at himself in the mirror. Either that or the roastee is deliberately trolling the subreddit by posting a photo with a crazed look.
A jailed tongue
When people with really distinctive features – like the “roathed me” guy above – offer up their profile pic to be roasted, we applaud them for their bravery. The internet can be a savage place where insults are hurled without consideration.
We imagine the guy above knew that when he posted a picture of himself with a big gap in the middle of his teeth. We don’t know what caused it, but one roaster said it looked like his tongue was in jail.
An unlucky draw
Someone who draws for a living is an artist whether or not you enjoy their art. The same goes for writers and musicians. The “roast me” volunteer below draws for a living, but one of the roasters doesn’t believe she is that good at it. Why?
Well, because the roaster thinks that her face looks like a poorly done drawing (perhaps a caricature of sorts). That insult not only makes fun of her looks but also her drawing skills – a double burn.